I have struggled to write this blog. Too much adrenaline coupled with too much information keeps draining my emotional and spiritual batteries.  I began to wake up and have flashes, until one flash stayed steady. The flash that said backlash, backlash, backlash, the steady beat that has always knocked the movement for justice aside for over 400 years. An article in 1995 discussed how white people riot to shut down justice and recently white people are teeing up another backlash, saying we are in a Cultural Civil War. I agree overall with that notion, although the author wants the south to win this time, and I want black people to stop always being the enemy and losing.  Backlashes have come in assassinations, in the old and new Jim Crow, and more subtly by appeasing the masses just enough to keep the same beat of white supremacy going.

My fear is saying that this BLM surge doesn’t end well, even as last night I read about significant social/political movements, about Minneapolis and about a newly appointed black police chief firing three white officers for being caught on tape spouting racist crap. But instead of consoling me, I know there are likely millions of people just like those cops. Yes, this movement feels different, and yes people have learned from the past to ask bigger and name reparations as the only solution, to name racism as a public health crisis, and to say police brutality is just the tip of the iceberg. My fear says that the 4th of July weekend is coming. I have long since ignored it, as the fight for independence was partially based on keeping slavery as an institution when Britain was poised to eliminate it. Independence has been a white supremacy event on the backs of indigenous and black bodies.

So I am terrified, mi gente, for those same bodies. For the hate that is the core of this nation’s legacy and current reality. Unseen people are planning as feverously as others are for fireworks and protests. This weekend is a perfect storm in the midst of a pandemic, a new surge of BLM, an economic crisis, an authoritarian White House, and mercury in retrograde in Cancer, the sign that governs family, house, our relationship with the past, history, and homeland.

Be careful and bold, be thoughtful and brave, watch your back and that of those who for so many years have had their backs targeted for whips and bullets and handcuffs.

People think that acting your age is only related to your biological age and is either good or bad. My experience tells me it is neither.

Body, Mind, and Spirit
The many areas that form the core of healthy maturity are encompassed under the 3 overall sections of Body, Mind, and Spirit. Acting your many ages means understanding two key points: 1. while we are a physical age, we are also an emotional age, a sensual age, an intellectual age, and many others. 2. these many ages are likely to be at different levels of maturity. So much of life is struggling to gather all our age ducks in a row, or at least in the same pond. It is only when our ages work together that our needs are met.

For example, I have been a competitive amateur athlete all my life, but it is only in the last ten years or so that I have embraced this fully. Because I was a female and Latina, I had no role models to support that part of my growth for many years. My mind told me I was being unfeminine. My spirit responded with anger because I was frustrated with the contradictory messages I got from my family and society. This lead to one semi-fist fight my sister would be happy to tell you about and a few yellow cards from the soccer referee for saying things I probably shouldn’t have said…out loud. Therefore, my body did not perform to the best of its ability because it was not in union with my mind and spirit. As Iyanla Vanzant says: “There should be a natural shift in our consciousness as we mature in life, but sometimes it does not happen.” It was only because I put energy and time into growing up emotionally and spiritually that I now step on a tennis court and play with my body, mind, and my spirit.

What is Maturity?
Think of yourself as being born like a packet of wildflowers seeds. Each area of your life is ready to grow to its full potential.  Some seeds take root easily and flourish with the right conditions. Some seeds land on hard soil, in places with more shade, or in terrain that directs water away from it. Even if some begin to grow despite inhospitable conditions, there may be wind tunnels that batter some areas of your growth so you get stuck in thoughts and behaviors that don’t serve you. A field of wildflowers at its most beautiful and mature is when all the varieties bloom and are mixed in together to create a natural bouquet.

Our natural bouquet of maturity is also at its most beautiful when our body, mind, and spirit bloom together. We have all felt that – even if fleeting – when we, the people around us, and the environment was full of light, air, and nourishment.

Barriers to Growth and Maturity
To fully flourish, we need to identify barriers to our full growth. First, we tend to rely too heavily on the aspects of our being where we have natural talent and reach maturity with little effort. Secondly, we can focus on where we get positive external recognition, like our intellect. The third and most challenging barrier to all our flowers blooming, however, are traumatic events. It is all well and good to say: “Grow where you are planted”. It another thing altogether to think abusive, racist, or economically starved environments don’t result in serious harm and self-doubt about both our right and capacity to blossom.

Never Too Late
The good news is that it is truly never too late to flourish. This takes effort. It’s like trying to pat your head, circle your stomach and hop at the same time – without putting concerted, relaxed effort into the development of our Body, Mind, and Spirit, we cannot do all three at once.

As a gardener and a life-long learner, I suggest that the first step to a beautiful garden or a more aligned life is taking an honest look at the state of your soil in supporting the well being of your Body, Mind, and Spirit. Then, commit to small, prioritized steps to make the conditions conducive for all your flowers to flourish.

Working with a coach is a great way to sort out the state of your inner garden. For a complimentary 20 minute session, call or email me. 510-593-4685; linda@lindagonzalez.net

In the midst of a challenging work situation, a trusted colleague asked me: “Where do you shine?” I immediately knew what she meant. What are the circumstances that allow our body, mind and spirit to flow with ease? Where are we emotionally and physically safe and secure? When are our gifts received with open hearts? Where can we learn and growth in an honest and supportive manner?

Habits of Survival

The daily pull of external and internal expectations can cloud our vision until  we find ourselves depleted, unconsciously reverting to habits of survival. This can show up as saying ‘yes’ without thoroughly examining the pros and cons of a situation, group, or relationship. We excuse inadequate communication, tolerate missed commitments, and spend too much precious time processing the past to avoid acknowledging it is time to make decisions about a toxic situation.

Our Right to Thrive

Like the beautiful jasmine pictured above that welcomes me home, we require the appropriate sunlight, nutrients, and water to shine. It is our responsibility to pay attention and that means uprooting ourselves when what we thought was an oasis turns out to be hard clay. Luckily for us, we respond quickly to nourishment if we re-commit to our right to thrive. I used to be annoyed at weeds clawing their way through the pavement or sidewalks. Now I cheer them on as sure signs that the tiny seeds that slid into the cracks are like our determination to shine despite small and large obstacles.

Seeds of today

Think about where you may have let yourself and your gifts be diminished and decide what seeds of action you can plant today to regain your shine. A Chinese proverb sums it up beautifully: “All the flowers of all the tomorrows are in the seeds of today.”

Think of a destination you are used to getting to by a very particular route. Imagine that as you approach the offramp, you see there is another road that might take you there is a more direct way. You don’t really know, so you decide to go your known route even though you have an intuition it takes longer. Exploring our set patterns in any area of our life activates our internal GPS. We can then press the ‘-‘ button to look at the bigger picture to see if there is indeed a more direct route to our fullhearted goals. In doing this, we both create options in case the route we are familiar with fails us and we may discover a more direct, more energizing path to achieve our dreams.

Being intentionally car-less for over a year, I had been forced to open my phone GPS numerous times when a bus didn’t show up or I misread the ferry departures on Super Bowl Sunday and had to find another way back to Marin from San Francisco. When this happened early on in my car-less journey, I would freeze and decide I needed to buy a car, my “go-to” pattern for 40 years. Each time, I was forced to open up my thinking as I did not, in that moment, have a car. Yes, I went on some crazy public transportation trips and often called Uber or Lyft.

Failing Forward
Yesterday I knew the “plan” (God/dess is laughing) and I knew my other options from so many previous “failing forward” experiences. The first bus never arrived so I called Lyft to get to the ferry. Heading home, I didn’t read the fine print on the ferry schedule that the later ferries added for Super Bowl festivities DIDN’T run on Super Bowl day until I was at the ferry building and there were no ferries to be had. Ni modo. I found a new bus to Marin I didn’t know about and got home safe and sound.

Every time I wanted to rant, I switched the channel to “what can I do?”, which was to read a memoir by Benilde Little called: Welcome to my Breakdown. No pun needed. No breakdown needed. Just gratitude for every moment of clarity and commitment to well being which buddhists call bodhicitta, defined as the complete wish to overcome our emotional afflictions and delusions to realize our full potential to bring all beings to an enlightened state free from suffering. That is a more direct path my internal GPS loves to point out, again and again.

Who in your life told you not to trust yourself? Usually it was an authority figure in your childhood. If you can find the cause, you can interrupt the effect of not believing your intuition, which is an internal guiding system we all have. “People usually experience true intuition when they are under severe time pressure or in a situation of information overload or acute danger, where conscious analysis of the situation may be difficult or impossible,” says Prof Hodgkinson of Leeds University Business School. In my experience, that is also when we are most likely to ignore our intuition.

Feeling overwhelmed and anxious can become an unconscious habit that separates us from our intuition. When frozen with fear, a healthy response is to breathe into the pain and remember we deserve protection and support. Instead of zoning out, we can ask: “What is the real or perceived danger?” This helps me go from effect (overwhelmed) to cause (when did I first begin to zone out?)

A Light at the End of a Tunnel
There are always many options to any situation and that is where our intuition is so critical. It is like the light at the end of a tunnel, giving us guidance as to where to begin seeking the best option. We trust we are good enough and know enough to simply take the step in front of us and pause. This pattern of action and reflection allows us to take in small pieces of information with both our heart and our mind so we aren’t rushing forward without our innate wisdom.

Often we jump headlong into actions and reflective activities geared toward spiritual and emotional growth “have” to be canceled. The idiom of having a “hair up your ass” is a hyperactive discomfort that drives us into obsessive actions to avoid our intuition.

Pema Chodron synthesizes this perfectly:  “Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.”

Our intuition is raw, unfiltered truth and it is helpful to see fear as a step in the right direction rather than a sign to turn away.